Tragedy Strikes Girl Trying to Make Lunch

Without being too dramatic, (OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD)

an egg just exploded in my face!!!!!!

Here's how it happened.

Recently when I've been boiling eggs (I eat alot of boiled eggs, egg salad, deviled eggs, etc) the shells have been refusing to come off. It is a meticulous task to peel an egg millimeter by millimeter and I have been going just straight up nuts. I get frustrated and then rip the shells off and realize I have lost have the egg white. I've tried lots of tricks, adding vinegar to the water when they're boiling, cracking the eggs immediately after draining the boiling water etc. So today I was not in the mood for this stupid shell business so I underboiled my eggs.... on purpose. Then they peeled like a charm and I was as happy as a clam but I knew the yolk wasn't fully cooked so I did what any logical technology dependant person would do, I put them in the microwave.

Then they started making a weird noise.

So I open the door....

Peer in at my three precious eggs....

And I touch one of them.

and POP!

Egg in my face. Eyes burning. I thought I was going blind. We always think this when something unexpected gets in our eyes. It's probably true that we do much more damage by sprinting to the bathroom and drowning our eyes in water until they are red and puffy and egg free. Anyway this is definitely my scariest egg tragedy yet. Yes, even more traumatic then the feather incident. As a result I have skiddishly devoured a bag of cashews. 

This is where I should stop. But now I can't. Apparently if you type into google image search "nervous squirrel eating nut" this will be one of the photos:



And this one too.



Could it really be squirrels have an affinity for wheeled citizens??
I leave you with this inspirational thought.