Tragedy Strikes Girl Trying to Make Lunch

Without being too dramatic, (OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD)

an egg just exploded in my face!!!!!!

Here's how it happened.

Recently when I've been boiling eggs (I eat alot of boiled eggs, egg salad, deviled eggs, etc) the shells have been refusing to come off. It is a meticulous task to peel an egg millimeter by millimeter and I have been going just straight up nuts. I get frustrated and then rip the shells off and realize I have lost have the egg white. I've tried lots of tricks, adding vinegar to the water when they're boiling, cracking the eggs immediately after draining the boiling water etc. So today I was not in the mood for this stupid shell business so I underboiled my eggs.... on purpose. Then they peeled like a charm and I was as happy as a clam but I knew the yolk wasn't fully cooked so I did what any logical technology dependant person would do, I put them in the microwave.

Then they started making a weird noise.

So I open the door....

Peer in at my three precious eggs....

And I touch one of them.

and POP!

Egg in my face. Eyes burning. I thought I was going blind. We always think this when something unexpected gets in our eyes. It's probably true that we do much more damage by sprinting to the bathroom and drowning our eyes in water until they are red and puffy and egg free. Anyway this is definitely my scariest egg tragedy yet. Yes, even more traumatic then the feather incident. As a result I have skiddishly devoured a bag of cashews. 

This is where I should stop. But now I can't. Apparently if you type into google image search "nervous squirrel eating nut" this will be one of the photos:



And this one too.



Could it really be squirrels have an affinity for wheeled citizens??
I leave you with this inspirational thought.

This was written at around 7 a.m.

 It's Saturday morning. I can't sleep in when I drink too much the night before. So I am going to tell about a typical yet strange situation that happens to me. It is that when I open Facebook at this hour and I read people's posts about going out for their Friday night in America, I feel like I. am. the. future. Immediately I want to tell them, No, don't check in at Brewskies Bar. Take back that picture of your fancy cocktail. Don't tag your friends. Stop with the exclamation marks about it being Friday night. Stop stop stop. I am feeling your bad decisions you are making right now. I am regret. I am future.

It could be the obvious fog I am in right now, but I think I am getting tripped out by time difference. Is this happening? It's just so damn bizarre that the sun is rising in one place and people are sleeping in another. The world is spinning? My mind is spinnin! Such mind has never super apt at grasping sciency things. Or mathy things. Or square dancy things. To be completely honest, if I had been around when they were claiming the world wasn't flat, I would have totally laughed in their face. You idiot look at the ocean! The horizon is that line there and once you reach it you will fall off!

I think Future Camille needs some more sleep. I am sharing way too much. Everyone is going to figure out that I really have no idea how the world works. The moon pulls the waves??? There is a fireball in the center of the earth?? Where do you people get these sensational ideas!? That's why you guys are my friends. I like all your crazy thoughts. I like you weirdos.



My topics should be a little more pre-meditated. I just realized I blogged about looking at Facebook with a side of Science skepticism. I am 100% sure I will look back on this and be like Que coño estaba pensando!" (What the fuck was I thinking? Actually "coño" is vagina. So that's "what the vagina was I thinking". Spanish is way more creative with cuss words).

To make the blog better I will add a couple pictures from Dia de la Paz. Peace day. At ma' school.

At this point you have to be thinking... Coño! Can it get any cuter? Three children hugging beneath a parachute??! And it does.

We released a dove as the grand finale.

Ta-da. Now go in.....

xoxo-coco

You know when there's not much in your kitchen to make dinner with but you scratch together a meal anyway?

I make blog today.


It's basically about nothing. But if you are already reading this you might as well continue. Facebook won't miss you. I've been quite homesick for some good ol' amurican food lately. My mouth waters when I think about beef fajitas or the grilled chicken salad from Mahylons in Muskogee. And if someone were to say the word "bacon crumbles" to me right now, I would book the next flight home. 


On to my current crisis though. I left my water bottle at school today. This may seem like something on firstworldpains but this is quite dire. I don't know if I can make it until tomorrow without water. What? No, I only drink from this one water bottle. It squeezes perfectly into my mouth and water tastes better when it comes from it. Don't call me a little girl. I am a niña. Y quiero mi botella damnit. 


The good news about today was that I had three packages waiting for me at the post office. Also good news was that I had asked my mom for socks and she sent me 13 pairs. Sock on that, cold spanish winter. I was only able to pick up two of the boxes though because the third one I had to pay a tarifa on and believe it or not, the Spanish postal service only accepts cash. What year are we in Spain? Did the conquistadors bring this parcel on horseback all the way from the Americas? I swear. I pay for 50 cent gum in the States with my credit card and it is not a mortal sin. But Spain is not America. Thank god. 


I do love Spain. I love it alot. I love politely waiting in the post office line to be cut off by three people who only have "preguntitas". Well I only have a little question too. And that is, what is the point of taking numbers again? It's because they were all better dressed than me. My friend has a theory that is inconsequentially true, it is that better dressed people have the upperhand. Yes we already know this, but for example if you are on a narrow Spanish sidewalk coming home from the gym and a woman in her fur coat is walking towards you and there is obviously no room for both of you to fit, who steps aside? You better believe you're sweaty little nike self is the one to scoot.


Watch out when they come in threes too. 





I must note that on the day that I am the shnauzier one I notice that the people step aside for me. So it isn't ethnicity selective. Just quality of clothing. Business suits will always bulldoze you. Fact. I've had a few near encounters with almost being run over that still give me nightmares.


Other fact, older Spanish people love to wear their coats on their shoulders. Me hacen mucha gracia. I don't know why. I always think, aren't you worried it will fall? Why not just wear a blanket? Target has great micro-fleece blankets! 







Off to spin class. Then to study for a spanish exam that's going to kick my culo to cuba. I'm going to try and write more and something a little more riveting next time. Os prometo. Love. Coco.